One Old White Guy Talks

Trump Renames Names.

Due to the immense, positive response that showed bigly the support of all Americans to my renaming of the Department of Defense to the Department of War, I am issuing another executive order renaming other departments.

From this day forward, backward, upward, or downward, let it be know throughout the world and universe that I, the honorable Donald J. Trump, your supreme commander and best President ever to have graced the new gold-plated, bordello-style oval office, am declaring the renaming of the following United States departments effective immediately, or when I get off the golf course.

  • The Department of State will be designated the Department of Bribes, Backroom Deals, and Autocrats
  • The Department of the Treasury will be designated the Department of Cryptocurrency and Meme Coins
  • The Department of the Interior will be designated the Department of Drill Baby Drill
  • The Department of Agriculture will be designated the Department of Red Meat
  • The Department of Commerce will be designated the Department of Oligarchs, Monopolies, and Cartels
  • The Department of Labor will be designated the Department of Forced Labor and Servitude
  • The Department of Health and Human Services will be designated the Department of Weightlifting, Potions, and Herbal Elixirs
  • The Department of Housing and Urban Development will be designated the Department of Detention Centers and Urban Demolition
  • The Department of Transportation will be designated the Department of Horses and Buggies
  • The Department of Energy will be designated the Department of Coal, Natural Gas, and Regional Farts
  • The Department of Education will be designated the Department of Biblical Innovation and Scripture
  • The Department of Veterans Affairs will be designated The Department of Heroes, Hedonism, and Hooters
  • The Department of Homeland Security will be designated the Department of Safety Pins, Untied Shoelaces, and Racial Profiling

Thank You for your attention to this matter and anti-matter, and for that matter, anything that might matter.

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Freedom is the key to any democracy. Autocracy must be denounced. Do not give in. Stand against the fallacy of America First which leads to America Lost.