One Old White Guy Talks

Mar-a-Lago enterprises announces the distribution of Trump Vittles (TV) Dinners to help feed Americans who will lose their incomes, health care, and jobs. And pundits say Trump doesn’t care. He does (mostly about himself).

Available at bodegas, Chinese markets, and Inner-city corner grocers, TV Dinners will let you eat like the king Trump wants to be. You’ll be able to choose from a wide variety of dishes including Little Bitty Mignon, Sauteed Nailfile Fish, Appalachian Squirrel Stew, Grilled Cow Tail, Wasabi Whale Sushi, and Cut Grass salad.

All dinners, costing only $3.99, come with mashed sawdust, seasonal vegetables (if seasonal workers aren’t deported), and mostly black pudding for dessert.

“I’m totally on board with these all natural rubbery, fluoride-free meals. I never thaw mine. They’re the popsicles of life,” exclaimed Robert Kennedy, Jr. Who can argue against insight like that? No one still alive. 

Who needs food stamps or other SNAP programs, when TV dinners are in the frozen section? Your paltry income will be stretched like your shortened existence. Eat up and shut up!

Listen to Melanie. “Deez dinners are deleczable and economizal.” She knows where her bread is buttered, and the American people know too.

Don’t dump on Trump. He won’t hear you. He’s golfing.