One Old White Guy Talks

Mar-a-Lago Inc. is proud to announce the release of the Trump Toy Military set. Celebrate the Army’s 250^th and the birthday of America’s greatest war hero, Donald J. Trump when you set up attack formations on your desktop, workbench, coffee table, or car dashboard. Feel the raw power of Douglas MacArthur as you turn back Mexicans at the Rio Grande in your bathtub by deploying America’s superior weapons systems. Nothing could be better.

Show your kids how to court-martial insubordinate leaders like General Mark Milley by literally holding their figurines to the flame and watch them melt into obscurity. Or turn your tanks against anti-MAGA protestors. Your offspring will be chanting USA for hours. 

Due to shortages caused by tariff restrictions only 10,000 sets are available in the United States. Going for $99.99, these commemorative editions will sell out faster than Trump does to Putin. Be a good father and don’t disappoint your junior. Scars from childhood can last forever. 

And if that’s not enough. Look for the special “Bone Spurs” Don warrior hidden away at random in one of every one hundred packets of the finest army military replicas that can be constructed of top notch imported Chinese plastic. All white to represent the people who made America great, the “Bone Spurs” figurines will escalate in value like a Trump promise until it goes unfulfilled. 

Be proud. Be patriotic. Be the best MAGA you can be. Get your set today.