One Old White Guy Talks

Trump: “We do not know what led to this crash, but we have some very strong opinions and ideas.”

Translation: I’m figuring out how to blame someone else for this. My cabinet will whitewash the incident soon.

Trump: “From the time I came in, we started going out and getting the best people because I said, “It’s not appropriate, what they’re doing. I think it’s a tremendous mistake.”

“You know, they like to do things and they like to take them too far, and this is sometimes what ends up happening. Now, with that, I’m not blaming the controller, I’m saying there are things that you could question, like the height of the helicopter, the height of the plane, being at the same level and going in opposite directions. It’s not a positive.”

Translation: I was going to play a round of golf today, buy now I have to deal with this. I learned about aviation from watching “Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo,” “Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines” and “The High and Mighty.” I could pilot the helicopter and plane at the same time and know how to stoop to the lowest levels to avoid responsibility. The best people believe every word I say. If not, “You’re fired!”

Trump “[Biden] put a big push to put diversity into the FAA’s program [and Pete Buttigieg] ran the FAA right into the ground with his diversity.”

Translation: People of color and uppity women caused this disaster, and that gay guy, Pete Buttigieg, hired lesbians and transvestites to run our airports. I only hire macho men for jobs. Ask the Village People.