One Old White Guy Talks

To honor America and reward true patriots, King Don, Inc. is now offering “I’m Legal as a $2 Bill” caps for the sweet price of $49.95, including shipping. And for a limited time, if you purchase two caps within the next 24 hours, King Don, Inc. will throw in a priceless magic migrant monocular. Patented by Vivek Rouge “I’m not Joking” Ramaswamy and produced in Russia under an agreement with Stephen Miller, LLC, the monocular can be kept in your pocket for quick use in spotting an immigrant of questionable character and citizenship. After you spot a diluter of American blood, quickly call 1-800-ILL-EGAL, and an ICE agent will be on the way. The cap and monocular are great for holiday gifts, Bar-Mitzvahs, and Cotillions. All proceeds go directly to the Mar-a-Lago fund, a 501-c-3, designated to Make Fast Food Great Again.