One Old White Guy Talks

Crazy Dark Cinema (CDC) is proud to release the remake of the 1968 classic, The Swimmer, starring Robert Kennedy, Jr. and introducing Kai Trump as Julie. Directed by Stephen Miller, The Swimmer traces the journey of Ned Merrill (Kennedy) as he swims his way across America through bacterial and chemically polluted waterways. Along the way, he meets 20-year-old Julie (Trump), who used to babysit his children. She joins him but leaves with tears in her eyes and a life-threatening rash after swimming Indiana’s Calumet River. 

Critics at the pre-release screening raved about the film. One anonymous reviewer said, “This type of film is rarely seen these days. It might never have been released but for the investment of the Trump organization.” Another reflected, “Performances like Kennedy’s are once in a lifetime, thankfully. He refused to have stunt doubles dip into Texas’s Trinity River, West Virginia’s Elk River, and Florida’s Lake Okeechobee. And to boot, he had glassfuls of those waters on set.”

A gripping drama, The Swimmer will have you glued to your seat to find out if Merrill can make it to California’s Tijuana River before his skin falls off and he goes blind. President Trump has called the picture an Oscar-worthy film and replaced the Oscar nominating committee so that WOKE ideology doesn’t get in the way.

(Stephen Miller is now directing Soylent Gangrene for fall 2025 release.)