Cathedrals, beaches, archaeological sites, and a world-underclass prison highlight the diverse beauty of the country of El Salvador, on the list to become the USA’s 51st state. Cheap hotels, and even cheaper companions, afford thrill-seeking visitors with heightened chances of contracting vaccine-resistant diseases, or as RFK, Jr. says, “Do your part. Be one of the herd.”
Deals and amenities galore abound when you choose one of our travel packages.
The Lifetime All-Inclusive Vacation (A $4500 value at a $500 price)
What do you get:
- One way airfare to San Salvador from Miami.
- Pre-processed country entry.
- Free clothing.
- All drinks and meals included.
- Top-notch accommodations.
- Sightseeing tour to Puerta del Diablo including special entry into the netherworld.
The Bodacious Boo-Boo Vacation (Price to be determined)
You get the benefits of the Lifetime Vacation plus:
- Tranquil nights and days in isolated surroundings.
- A signed picture with Kristi Noem.
- A Steven Miller bobblehead doll.
- Unguided tours of the “real” El Salvador.
The Homan—Field of Dreams Vacation (Free)
You get no benefits, no explanation, and no reason because “we built it, and we sent them there. America first.”
This is a limited time offer so round up your friends and neighbors and head to the nearest ICE office to book your package today. Planes leave nightly. Passengers never return.
One Old White Guy Talks 
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