One Old White Guy Talks

In a move to honor Women’s History Month, President Trump had Seal Team Six round up the four women justices on the Supreme court and had them taken to a secret location. As Trump said, “Being a women can be stressful. I was honored to give them a vacation from the day-to-day anxieties they face not being in the kitchen. This four-year vacation will give them time to work on new recipes, darn socks, and read the Bible. It is well-earned time off.” 

Asked how the court will now work, Trump was direct. “It’ll work the way it’s supposed to work. The five male justices will review cases without hinderances from a WOKE ideology. These guys are my bros. They already gave me unlimited Presidential authority freeing me to break the law, and let me tell you, I’ll be breaking.”

The families of the relocated justices said they will be granted three annual visits to catch up on things and bring cookies and cakes to their loved ones. As one husband, who wanted to remain anonymous to avoid jail time, noted, “Surprise is an understatement. We can only bring perishables and prescribed medications. No newspapers. No books. No digital devices.”

Trump reiterated the legality of this move. “When you get the go ahead from the Supreme Court, you say let’s go!  So, I sent them away. I now have a very muscular court that will lift me up and make all my actions quite legal. Females have that touchy-feely concern for issues. I do too, but only in bed. With all the problems Biden left me, I need strong men and strong deodorant. And just think, now that we only have male perspective on the court, we can save lots of money because we won’t need to stock a separate bathroom. Call me brilliant.”