One Old White Guy Talks

I’m Dr. Phil, an unlicensed clinical psychologist. Who needs a license anyway?  Well, immigrants do. They should have numbers too. It makes total sense. I’ve devised a test to find out if someone you meet on the street is illegal or legal. That is, is your friend, brother, aunt, or kid’s teacher a true American or a freeloader sucking on the American teat. Here are the three questions you ask. My method is fool proof. 

1. Who won the last ballon d’or award? (The only acceptable answer is WTF are you talking about. Any other answer indicates an illegal who needs to be deported.)

2. Do you know Machu Picchu? (The only acceptable answer is a Pokémon character.  Any other answer indicates an illegal who needs to be deported.)

3. Who is Cesar Chavez? (The only acceptable answer is a communist who organized the UFW—the Un-American Fraudulent Wasters union.  Any other answer indicates an illegal who needs to be deported.)

And while I have your undivided attention, I wanted to let you know about a product I use called Snowy White Whole-Body Lotion. Each day I cover myself with this fragrance-free SPF (Stop Pillaging Foreigners) 1000 cream allowing my skin to remain albino white forever. Show your true patriotism with dazzle and pride. Snowy White is available at all fine survivalist stores and MAGA events and is a bargain at $29.95. Stay white. Stay safe.