One Old White Guy Talks

Today, I want to talk about putting. Gripping the putter is bigly. The world has never seen a putting grip as good as mine. I use the MAGA-claw grip, which replicates my hold over true American patriot. If a member of my foursome says, “Don, you missed that putt,” I simply drop my putter and put both hands around the deep-state complainer’s neck and squeeze. Before long, I’ve one-putted 15 greens and chipped in on the other three holes. You, too, can mimic my technique when you purchase “Don’s Putting to Win Always,” a $750 DVD available from puttingdonfirst.com. Among the simple tips you’ll learn are: (1) Threatening to arrest fellow golfers unless they sign your faux scorecard; (2) Having the DOJ revoke playing partners’ citizenships if they count your penalty strokes; and (3) Releasing your opponents’ names, addresses, and cell phone numbers on Truth Social and calling them Trump Scorecard Deniers. You can’t beat the advice and or me.