One Old White Guy Talks

Steven “Thriller” Miller (attired in a brown shirt, garter belt, black stockings and red stilettos): OK, big Bob, we did it. I told you that bear story would hit home with the rural folks. Tim had no chance with hunters. I mean dumping the dead animal in Central Park to own the libs! Real Americans just loved it. Now we rule.

Robert “The Pawn” Kennedy (attired in black leather chaps and handcuffed to a chair): Steve, can’t you loosen the cuffs a bit. My brain worm ain’t getting enough oxygen and she’s due anytime now. I plan on having her babies FDA-approved because I’ll be running the show and marketing them to pregnant women who want their offspring to be as smart as me. You got to uncuff me to make America great again.  And anyway, where is The Don, I thought he was coming down to celebrate.

Steven “Thriller” Miller:  You can’t rush things. He needs some care time. I think nurse Alina is personally handling his injections. I told King Don not to snuggle up to her too much. I wanted to deport her parents. Iranians have no place near the White House, but you know how he likes foreign women. They have that special touch.

Robert “The Pawn” Kennedy: The cuffs, Stevie. The cuffs.

(Marjorie Taylor Greene walks in attired in a US Flag tank top, cutoff shorts, and cowboy boots. She is carrying an AR-15.)

Marjorie Taylor Greene: Where are they, Stevie? I’m ready for the immigrant round-up. He-haw. Don’t you mess with the Marge. I’m coming for your papa. I’m coming for your mama. I’m coming for your damn tacos. Stevie, just give me the word. Give me the vamoose. Give me the auf wiedersehen. The Boebertress says she’s coming too. No, no, not like in that theater. She wants to drive a semi full of illegals into the desert and leave ‘em there. Problem solved.

Robert “The Pawn” Kennedy: The cuffs, Stevie. The cuffs.

Steven “Thriller” Miller: Marge darling (throwing keys to her), would you please uncuff whiney Bobbie. He just can’t take the pain. He’s all about vaccines and diet, and artificial this and that. Well, I’m about to unleash hell on this country. King Don said I need to make the Inquisition come to life. If I can think it, he’ll let me do it. I’m going to institute Savage Sundays. Screw the NFL. That league is just a bunch of kneeling Communist anyway. 

(The loudspeakers in the bunker start up.)

Loudspeakers: Prepare ye. Prepare ye on bended knee for the Savior of the World, the Liberator of the Universe, the Barker of Bodacious Bling and his entourage. Their appearance is neigh.